grievance: mercury in retrograde

I really don't know too much about astrology.  I really don't.  But I kind of like it.  I suppose because it gives some purported larger meaning to things which happen to us.  It's a little too flimsy a concept into which for me to buy, however the fact that there are real forces associated with planetary phases (most notably the tides which correspond with phases of our moon) makes me kind of feel "okay" with attributing things which happen in the lives of us insignificant peons on earth to this.  But apparently Mercury is in something called "retrograde":

So, now I shall address this: the strangest damned stuff has been happening to me.  ALL of it has been incredibly GOOD, save for one unexpected, mild disappointment, so it's not as if I am complaining.  (An aside: what the hell is "save for"?  From where did that "idiom" (I'm not sure it's really an "idiom," per se) come?  As my high school Latin teacher used to say... Thus I digress.)

The point is that I'm just a little baffled by all of this stuff going on.  I've become reacquainted with people whom I'd entirely written off... I've had unexpectedly wonderful things happen career-wise... and I've had people start acting in ways altogether antithetical to the ways in which they'd acted a mere few weeks ago.  While, again, these have all been pretty amazing things... the reason this is a "grievance" is because it makes me feel wholly helpless as to my life's path, because it's not like I didn't deserve these good things (some more than others), but the simultaneity of it all just... well... as eloquent as it is... FREAKS me out.

Stop moving weirdly, Mercury.  Thanks.

-moon

P.S. It's been so long since either stars or I blogged that, happening upon all of the "labels" we have for our blogs, I kind of want to label this one with "being taped to a couch" because I'd forgotten how funny it is.  I think I will.  Eat it, logic.

raging out at... being taped to a couch during a shootout

No, that wasn't a typo. Last night I was actually covered in stickers and packing-taped to a couch while a shootout went down outside. Before the two people who love me freak out, I should clarify that one event had nothing to do with the other.

I should rewind... and also state that my memory is dim on these events so I will be presenting the story from three different sources.

Last night I was exhausted from a long week of "working hard" and "leading prayer groups," so I elected to head over to my local "Ginger"'s house and watch Arrested Development. My usual two large green goblets of wine later, I was fast asleep on Ginger's couch with a party going on around me. The next thing I remember is waking up unable to move, taped to a couch. So allow me to bring in my two very reliable (and terrible) friends to finish this post for me:

"Jen": You took me to new levels last night. New levels of appreciation. You have no idea how many one-liners you had last night.
Stars: Did I? I don't even know what I said half the time.
"Jen": When we were taping you, you kept moving and that would be so loud we would all stop, let you settle. Well, you woke up and you were like "MMM... I SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE... I'M JUST NOT DOING ANYTHING UNTIL THE MORNING." I DIED LAUGHING.


Stars: "Jen" just told me I woke up during the taping.
“Ginger”: You don't remember that?? You said, "I don't care... I'll deal with this in the morning."
Stars: I have zero memory of that. I'm an idiot even when I'm a zombie.
“Ginger”: Do you remember me cutting off the shit? I woke up to you moaning you were covered in blood. I was like "oh shit." Then I kept trying not to laugh, but the evil in me kept pulling the stickers on your skin, and you were like "OH GOD NO."
Stars: I just remember being like "put them on my clothes. Keep them off my skin. I'm bleeding,"
“Ginger”: And then you were like "eh, at least it's not loud anymore," when I had taken off a lot. Oh yeah... and you missed a shooting.
Stars: I miss everything when I pass out! There is no waking me up when I don't want to be.
“Ginger”: I can't believe you missed the shooting.
Stars: What happened??
“Ginger”: There was a shootout right outside. And we walked into it. And got yelled at to stay back. But we didn't stay back. I just wanted to make eye contact with the perp.
Stars: Did you do it??
“Ginger”: I might've been the perp. Just saying. There were shots between "the perp" and the cops I believe.
Stars: Did anyone emerge victorious?
“Ginger”: You didn't get shot did you? I'd say that's victorious.
Stars: You ran TO a shootout. I was safer taped to the couch. So you guys are really good friends. And I thank you.
“Ginger”: You do owe me a big thank you for that. We went through a shootout and then made it in time for last call.
Stars: You went to a bar after the shootout while I was taped to a couch??
“Ginger”: Yes. Fiesta and East/West.
Stars: I'm in love with you all.
“Ginger”: Two bars.


So, to summarize: I don't even know what to say. I'm bruised and bloody. Ginger and Jen are hungover. I need No-Doz whenever I am not alone. Oh, and my friends are a-holes.



-stars