grievance: abuse of the english language part deux (english 102)

I've gotten tons of responses about my "English 101" blog. However, most were simply of amusement. The rules I outlined then are still repeatedly offended by people who have read it. With that said... I don't care. You're all getting a D and barely passing. So now onto English 102....

1. This rule is near and dear to my heart and offending it makes me so wildly and insanely angry that you really should heed the warning. In a written, yet informal conversation, à la AOL Instant Messenger or e-mail, actually READ the words that your fellow interlocutor has written. I've made it absurdly clear (in other ways other than this series of blogs, incidentally) that while I may make typos, I pay a great deal of attention to spelling things correctly and formulating grammatical functions as they are intended to be formed. So, instead of CORRECTING people when they offend these rules, I simply say it or write it back to them, correctly. And yet, people ignore what I've said or written and continue to say or write what they please. I am SO personally offended by this irreverence for language that I have named this my CARDINAL SIN. Especially when the word in question is the name of a friend of me (note rule 8) or my name. The first time someone speaks to me and calls me "Jen," I'm okay with that. When I say "Jenn" back to him or her regarding myself, and then am then called "Jen" again, I'm liable to break the darling's face. Just PAY ATTENTION.

2. While "better than me" can be used correctly, it's seldom the case. Used correctly: "he hit her harder than me," as in "he hit her harder than he hit me." But this goes back, in some ways to the "who"/"whom" bit with using the correct cases of words: "she's smarter than me" is COMPLETE AND UTTER GARBAGE. Constructed correctly: "She's smarter than I." I do understand that this sounds austerely stuffy. An easy way around it? "She's smarter than I am." And that flushing out tells you EXACTLY why it ain't "me": "she's smarter than me is"? The holy gods of grammar frown upon you, young word-abuser.

3. "A whole nother." Really? REALLLLYYYYY? The reason there is an "n" between "a" and "other" when contracting to "another" is because "a other" sounds like garbage. Know what else sounds like garbage? Your face. No. I kid. "Nother" sounds like damned garbage. The "l" at the end of "whole" functions as the "n" does. It's just unnecessary and... (let's hear it, everybody, for my favorite word) gratuitous.

4. Stop using "that" because you're too lazy to put together a construction like "which" (I know, real hard that one) or "who." You sound like a five year old.

5. Commas ALWAYS go inside quotation marks. As do periods. It doesn't make sense. But you HAVE to do it that way. Tough shit.

6. "Quote" is not a noun. It's a verb. "Quotation" is its noun form. "I was reading some of her quotes"? That sentence makes me want to hurl. On your face. Which, according to rule number three, also sounds like garbage. Yes I just used a quotation of my own.

7. "CD's from the 1980's." = my worst nightmare. Apostrophes never ever ever ever ever denote pluralization. They have two jobs: contractions (like "it's") and possession ("Mary's" ). What the holy hell made people start doing this? I'm actually curious as to what spawned this sheer idiocy.

8. "S"s (not "S's") and apostrophes have a complicated relationship. For that matter, possession in English is a little complicated. So allow me to indulge myself in a full explanation of some things you may not know about this strange system:
Rule 1: When making something possessive that ends in an "s," you have two choices. You can either add an apostrophe AND an "s," like so: "Marcus's." Or you can simply add an apostrophe: "Marcus'." IMPORTANT NOTE: if you decide to use "Marcus's," you must, when speaking, say "Marcus-iz." If you decide to go with "Marcus'," you must simply say "Marcus." No "iz." Either is totally acceptable as long as you maintain some kind of consistency between the written word and spoken.
Rule 2: The add-an-apostrophe-but-no-"s" rule also applies to words or names that end in "s"-sounds, such "Maurice," or "Liz," or even "instance," becoming "Maurice'," "Liz'," and "instance'." Or you are welcome to put those "s"s in if you'd like and get "Maurice's," "Liz's," and "instance's" (which is DEFINITELY different than (not "then") "instances." However, you must maintain the way you speak these words based on rule 1.
Rule 3: Making nouns that end in "s" plural: ALWAYS add an "es." As simple as that. The family of Mr. Jones is "the Joneses." If you want to make THAT plural, as in, belonging to the Jones family, you can go with "the Joneses's," or the "Joneses'." And this is why I ALWAYS go with NOT adding "s"s after apostrophes. "Joneses's" must be pronounced "Jones-iz-iz." WHAT! No, no, no... (just like Destiny's Child said).
Rule 4: Alternate ways to manifest possession: the "of _____" construction. An easy way to avoid this "Joneses's"/"Joneses'" nightmare is to simply say "of the Joneses." However it is not "of the Joneses's" or "of the Joneses'." That is just silly. You're essentially doing possession TWICE. So if THAT's the rule, why would you say "a friend of mine"? "A friend of me" or "a friend of myself" is what should be there instead. Same goes for "a friend of Katie." N.B. I understand that saying "a friend of myself" sounds like a vouchsafeing tactic, so I don't actually expect anyone to SAY that in informal talk. But if you're writing, you'd better watch it, bitches.

9. "He"/"she"/"they" and "his"/"her"/"their" are making me want to throw things. Let's get this straight for the last damned time: if you are talking about a single human being, "he or she" CANNOT be referred to as "they." He or she must be referred to as "he or she" or "he" or "she." "They" is used to describe a collective group. "People are stupid. They don't know how to speak proper English." (Low blow, I know.) "There is a person reading this blog who is an idiot. He or she does not know how to speak proper English." 'Nuff said.

Can someone, just ONE person, who reads this at least pretend to try?

-moon

raging out at... people who may or may not be dead

It can't be explained as to why, but nothing (and by nothing, I mean most things) enrages me more than not knowing if someone is dead or not. I hate that I have to sit there, wasted at a bar, and google things such as "Betty White dead." Nearly all of my drunken googles are for either song lyrics or finding out if someone is, in fact, dead.

And to be honest, I am mostly pissed at myself for this one. Someone will pass a remark about someone such as Abe Vigoda and then someone else will ALWAYS chime in with, "Aren't they dead?" I immediately become devastated and start in on the "Dead Inquisition." As my slow Sidekick loads up "Abe Vigoda dead," I attack the party who felt Abe was dead. "When did he die? Are you sure? What happened? How come I think I saw him in that new Macy's commercial? Oh, that was Usher. Whatever. I don't think he's dead. You're wrong. You're dead. Why would you say a thing like that about Abe Vigoda if you weren't sure??"

Now if the allegedly dead celebrity meant that much to me that I would attack a friend, shouldn't I have been up on whether or not they were dead in the first place? And why in the hell does everyone think everyone is dead anyway? 9 times out of 10, the person in question isn't dead.

Don't tell me someone's dead and crush my spirit unless you are sure.

-stars

shit that sucks - vending machines

An incorrect haiku.

I'm really thirsty.

I have no cash in my wallet.

I'm a debit card kind of guy.

I'm really thirsty.

There's a vending machine outside.

Why don't you take debit cards?

Why vending machine?

Why?

-orion's belt buckle

raging out at... abraham lincoln

I don't care. I hate Abraham Lincoln. I hate him with every fiber of my being.

Now, maybe my sheer disdain for Old Abe isn't necessarily his fault. It might be more fair to say I hate the pedestal people have put him on with total disregard for the fact that he was an opportunistic bastard with a stupid beard. To prove my point, I would like to provide you with some basic Facts de Lincoln which I will then irrationally rebut.

Fact 1: Abraham Lincoln had a massive ridiculous beard. Beards were a sign of status and are regarded even today as a symbol of stature. (Is this true? I made it up.) So Abe gallantly wandered around stroking his beard to show people that he, in fact, was a public figure to be respected.
Rebuttal 1: Abe had Marfan syndrome.
Marfan syndrome is a genetic disorder that manifests itself in a typically tall stature and disproportionate limbs and other really creepy abnormalities. Abe had crooked creepy Shannen Doherty face and grew a massive beard to hide it. He could have truly been a man of the people, let his real face show, and given hope to others who were affected. But did Abe do that? Nope. There's a role model.

Fact 2: Abraham Lincoln was largely self-educated and spent most of his time reading to better himself.
Rebuttal 2: Neighbors of Abraham's reported the belief that Lazy Abe spent most of his time reading to avoid doing any manual labor whatsoever. He was 700 feet tall and strong but was such a slothful bitch that he wanted no part of helping around whatever farm or plantation or wherever the hell he lived.

Fact 3: Abraham Lincoln cheated at a duel. There's no need to even rebut this one. The man CHEATED at a duel. Aren't duels supposed to be for defending honor and all that? You kind of lose the point of the combat when you fricking cheat. Abe was challenged to a duel by James Shields pretty much for anonymously talking shit. Abe was such a man that he felt the need to throw around his smacktalk secretly. Yeah, that's who I want running my country. You want to talk shit, do it up. Don't be a little ass-bearded bitch and do it anonymously. So because Abe was challenged by Shields, Abe was permitted to select the weapon of choice. Abe, being a sneaky little hoe's beast, decided they should both wield the largest swords imaginable. He was a giant ogre with disproportionately long limbs!! That sort of weapon could only create a fair fight between Abe and Andre the Giant. Uncool, Abe.

Fact 4: Abraham Lincoln was notoriously anti-war because of "unnecessary bloodshed."
Rebuttal 3 (yes, I screwed up my numbering): Abe had zero combat experience. ZERO. The commander in chief's only experience with battle was when they let him help bury bodies from battles already fought. Great, the head of all military probably couldn't shoot a gun or strategize or even wrap a wound like Florence Nightingale. But if you wanted a creepy middle of the night body bury, you could totally hit Abe up.

Fact 5: Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves because of his great love for justice for all humankind.
Rebuttal 4: If you don't know that entire platform and declaration was done for financial reasons and not reasons of actually giving a shit about people as a whole, I don't care to explain it. Look it up.

Fact 6: According to recent theories by historians, Abraham Lincoln may have been a homosexual.
Rebuttal 5: Go back to rebuttal 1. Be proud of who you are and don't hide behind the beard like Tom Cruise. Hmm, now I am wondering if that is actually wear the term beard comes from. I may have just solved a great mystery.

Fact 7: Abraham Lincoln was the first Republican President. See this quote from John Diggins. "Lincoln presented Americans a theory of history that offers a profound contribution to the theory and destiny of republicanism itself."
Rebuttal 6: Thanks for that.

So in summation...
I hate Abe. I hate his laziness and inqualification to run the military. I hate his false politics and the facade behind which he lived. But mostly, I really hate his beard.

-stars

shit that sucks - peacocks

Everyone's favorite network with the xylophone scaled sonic branding ending their deal with iTunes to sell on Amazon.com and their own proprietary website.

First of all - NBC has the best original programming with the exception of F/X and HBO. Chuck, The Office, 30 Rock, and Las Vegas are some of the most brilliant shows on the air today. But, like everyone else in the modern world, I stopped being down with appointment television with the advent of TiVo (okay really just generic Time Warner DVR). Then, the iTunes Music Store added television series and I could put them on my iPod and plug that into my TV and watch whatever I wanted even if I'd forgotten to TiVo (read: DVR) it.

This is how I discover most shows. I'm a pop culture addict - it's what I do.

Long story short, NBC pulled the plug on iTunes because it wanted more money. What they don't understand is that TV shows have no value really. DVDs of TV shows are purchased because they are physical products. Consumers are purchasing the box to place on a shelf because it is representative of their tastes. When people put The Office DVD on their shelf they are doing it so when they have guests they can say "oh, you like The Office?" Or else you watch the episodes once through, and put the box back on aforementioned shelf. In fact, if you notice most people lose at least one of the DVDs that come in TV show boxed sets. Go open your friends Lost Season 2 - tell me if Disc 3 is in there or if it's sitting under the couch scratched up like a cat toy.

So why not be happy at making 1.99 for a TV show that you were otherwise making nothing for. Advertisers aren't going anywhere yet. Use iTunes as a promotion - in fact it is credited with launching The Office into the mainstream. Let clips sit up on YouTube, you can't really monitize 30 second clips (don't get me started on ringtones). Let fans be fans and share their enthusiasm of your product.

So now there's a writers' strike, so I'm preparing for new TV to disappear to make room for America's Best Choir (yes - there is a real series coming with that premise this January). So in celebration of my new iPod Touch I bought Season 1 of Heroes, a show I'd always wanted to start watching. So now I'm hooked on that, and almost through with it (even though new episodes of programming are still airing and I'd meant not to start watching Heroes until the strike was affecting my life - I have no self control). So, I want to get episodes from Season 2 - but they're not on iTunes. They are available only on Amazon.com's Unbox service - which of course isn't compatible with a Mac and can only be viewed on a PC in Window's Media format (can't be played on the iPod) - or it can be viewed on Hulu.com, another PC only website which isn't even open to the public - it's in invite only beta.

Thanks NBC. Way to get viewers to your shows.

Shit sucks.

-orion's belt buckle

grievance: washing new york city streets

Who thought it was honestly necessary to start washing New York City streets? Please tell me I am not the only one who has pondered this question or, at least now that I'm bringing it up, can get on board with my confusions, because this is totally whack.

Okay, yes, I live in a REALLY nice area of the city whose community issues I've become pretty well versed in and it's become offensively obvious to me that the people who live here are so affluent that they have nothing to complain about but absurdities. So, it's certainly predictable that there would be maintenance men of my building and those around me washing down the streets in front of the buildings on a daily basis... but that doesn't detract from the sheer silliness of it.

I DO understand the desire to have the area in which you live be nice and attractive, but THESE ARE STREETS. Why are apartment OWNERS paying thousands of dollars in maintenance a month to pay for people to clean the surrounding areas, i.e. the EARTH, near which the buildings in which they live are situated?? This is my big problem: yes, sidewalks are essentially "man-made," HOWEVER they are still OUTSIDE, and a part of the earth, versus the marble floor of my building's hotel-like lobby, which I assure you, I believe needs to be cleaned. But like, ummm... UMMMMMM HELLOOOOOO, this is the earth. It has its own built-in cleaning mechanism, namely the RAIN.

Furthermore, I find this practice completely futile... no matter how much you hose down the CONCRETE STREETS, they're still going to be disgusting. And what is this trying to effectuate? BECAUSE it is concrete, it looks the exact same when it's "clean" and when it's "dirty." So are the boards of buildings deciding to do this so that pedestrians can SIT on the street? Or lie down?

With all of that said, I'm not big into getting into people's business unless it directly effects me... and this is how it DOES effect me: in keeping with the theme of my blog about wearing sandals and shorts in the rain, I DO NOT WANT THE BOTTOMS OF MY PANTS AND/OR SHOES TO GET WET. If it's raining, fine, I have to deal with that and either wear appropriate clothing or deal with the decision I've made if it HAPPENS to rain. But why am I forced to look like a COMPLETE ASSHOLE, holding my pants up from the thigh as I walk over certain patches of New York City streets?!?!?!?! So effing stupid.

Sincerely,
Dissatisfied, Water-Hating New Yorker

-moon

grievance: clubs

Clubs. Explain the allure here.

I went to a going-away party tonight for a gentleman with whom I went to high school... so naturally, after some time, I felt the need to leave.

"Why?"... one might ask. Because my friends wanted to go Stereo (whatever the fuck that is) and pretend to be cool inside a room with no windows, where you have two options: to sit around and scream over Sean Kingston (or whoever the fuck... Shauna mentioned him today to me, so he must be the new hotness when it comes to hip-hop and whatever it is the kids are listening to these days) or to try to get fucked by some random person who's already at aforementioned fenentre-less room.

I was considering going to stupid Stereo, after being promised free drinks, provided my buddy agreed to kick any dude's ass who touched my even remotely inappropriately, to which he agreed, really only because it was a friend's last night in New York... but I STILL could not bring myself to do it. We were at a rooftop bar/restaurant, with moderate, yet lively, volume and we were leaving to... wait, why were we leaving? I have no freakin' idea. The kid who was leaving New York didn't even want to go.

I used to go to clubs. When I was 16 and thought I was THE SHIT for being able to get into places people wanted to be in. But I'm sorry... I can't subscribe to the ideology of going to a place because it's hard to get into... I don't think it's cool in any way. But apparently PEOPLE do.

Maybe it's 'cause I don't like to dance.

But "dancing" apparently means getting drunk and jumping on velour couches screaming "oh my god, I love you so much!!!" while you try to get fucked by the next douchebag over wearing a pink polo shirt with his fuckin' collar popped and your mess of a friend ends up with a cocaine-induced bloody nose. Ok then.

Am I crazy for not understanding this phenomenon? I just want to TALK to my friends... is that a ludicrous request?

-moon

grievance: guys in bars

If you've spoken to me recently, you've probably already heard my rant about this, but I think it ought to be addressed.

When did bar etiquette completely go out the window?

A couple of weeks ago, I was bartending, and two nights in a row something similar happened in which the end result was the same. I was told I was ugly.

Okay. Night number one... old mess of a guy left over from happy hour. Sober enough to ask me for a drink and talk my ear off. Then he went downstairs for a party and one of my fellow bartenders, I can only assume, didn't realize how drunk he was and got him absolutely hammered. He then proceeded to try to hit on me for several hours. He was unsuccessful. Thus, he felt it was appropriate to become hostile and angry and... I guess, try to use reverse psychology on me because I was unreceptive to his luscious lips and raw sex appeal. And by "reverse psychology," I mean give me the finger, tell me to fuck off, and tell me I was "ugly, anyway."

Okay. So this was an old pathetic dude. But the next night, I was working downstairs and a bunch of kids that worked at Apple were out to see their (god awful) friend with an acoustic guitar play bad songs. They were young and semi-attractive and sweet boys. It was one's birthday at 12, so they all got pretty drunk, but it was also the day before the iPhone launch, so they all had to cut out pretty early. So after having PLEASANT conversation with me all evening, he decided to wait for me upstairs while I finished up downstairs. I had no idea. So I went upstairs after about an hour of sitting in the office with one of my bosses, making fun of bands on MySpace. And he was waiting for me... alone. He then asked me to stay and have a drink and I was too tired and didn't feel like dealing with a drunk douche. So when I tried to leave, he asked me if he could ask me "a small favor." The favor was to STAY AT MY APARTMENT because he lived in Brooklyn. When I gave him an answer he didn't like, he followed us down the street yelling like a lunatic about how I'm a "cunt" and I'm "ugly, anyway."

What gives? I understand the whole drunken psychology behind "I hit on a girl and she rejected me so I'm going to be a dick,"...... I guess. But like, calling girls "ugly"? What are you hoping to elicit with that? All of a sudden I'm going to change my mind about sleeping with you? Or you're protecting your "pride" in front of... nobody?

Moral of the story: don't call random people ugly when they won't sleep with you.

Better rule of thumb: don't hit on bartenders. We don't want to hang out with you. And by deductive reasoning, you can pretty much figure that we don't want you inside us. Calling us "ugly" will NOT change that.

Thank you.

-moon

shit that sucks - journey

Dear Music Supervisor for The Closer,

As a music fan I have embraced the fact that the studios behind TV's one hour dramas have decided to go green and reduce the number of pages in episode scripts by eliminating dialogue from the last five minutes of a show and replacing them with a montage. Often the music chosen is quite good and a few artists are even crediting these license opportunities with jump starting their careers, and for that, I applaud your work. But really, have new artists stopped sending you demos, or were you so inspired by the series finale of the Sopranos that you decided you just HAD to close your show with "Don't Stop Believing" as well?

I refuse to believe that an equal emotional response couldn't have been triggered from the use of a piece of music that wasn't just chosen as the soundtrack to what may just be one of the most controversial moments in the history of television.

Thanks.

-orion's belt buckle

grievance: iphones

This is my one and only complaint regarding iPhones:

I really, really, really, really, really, really want one.

Wahhhhhhh.

-moon

grievance: overpopularization of "don't stop believin'" et alii

Okay... this is in some ways a dual blog wherein I purport to microcosmically use "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey to exemplify a larger problem. But the particular problem with what will be referred to as "DSB" hereupon is very real and I am VERY serious about it.

No. I don't watch The Sopranos and if one more person asks me, I will, in the words of "stars" "wipe [him or her] off the face of the earth." I'm sure it's a great show... blah blah blah. But come on. Articles in newspapers about the HORROR of the season finale? There are plenty of Washington scandals that could be filling that space. Or matters of war... oh that silly war. Clearly Whoever Soprano is more important.

As much as that annoyed me, it is the slowly trickling aftermath creeping into bars that is really getting under my skin. Apparently EVERYONE is obsessed with Journey now? Journey is so good that I love it with all of my body, including my pee pee (see Real Ultimate Power) and it makes me super angry that now that it's been used in this LIFE-ALTERING season finale of an HBO show, everyone thinks they're the shit.

Don't get me wrong... I'm not one of those elitist music-listeners that gets angry when a band she loves becomes super popular and then accuses them of "selling out, dude, that's so whack," especially in this case because Journey is clearly not an underground band. My problem is that everyone makes fun of me for liking cheesy music. And Journey is the cheesiest of all. And now apparently cheesy is in vogue.

Such crap.

This brings me to the "cosmic" part of the microcosm... an extrapolation of people's distaste for the music I like. What the hell is wrong with liking music that sounds good? "Ugh... I hate pop." What is that? It's POPULAR for a reason. Good songs are good songs. It's not like they become less good when more people like them. Before that music became "pop" it was simply LIKED by its listeners. Par example, Maroon 5. Well, maybe not the best example because I think they pretty much blow now... but still. Way back in.. er... 2003... when they were OPENING for local Long Island bands, playing to NO ONE at the Vanderbilt, they were viewed as edgy and funky and so DIFFERENT. I was proud to say I liked Maroon 5, and try to introduce everyone I knew to them because it was quality music... well, Songs About Jane was a quality record. And now they have no credibility because they're super popular. I don't even want my hoodie back, Frankie, but thanks for being so on top of that. Although the Used DVD would be nice. All of my friends who loved rock music were NUTSO about Maroon 5. Now, the idea of waxing optimistic about them is impossible because no one would ever take me seriously. But the fact remains...THEY ARE GOOD. What does that have to do with anything else?

My major problem isn't with the trend toward hating popular music. It's with people secretly liking popular music and pretending they don't. This is why I defend my music taste viciously... because it's constantly being assaulted by people who project themselves as interested in strange chord progressions and time signatures. But how can you hate on pop and then claim you love the Beatles? Really. Seriously. REALLY.

I was at work the other night working with the bands and there were these three hardcore bands. Screaming. No melody. Just screaming. I don't get it. That doesn't sound GOOD. It just doesn't!!! Vocal melody (and harmony!!) is an INTEGRAL part of a song. Someone explain the allure behind that kind of music, please.

Anyway, my point is essentially that music is supposed to be pleasing to the ears! Why do people pretend they don't like pleasant things?

Also, stop playing DSB in bars. Play Journey. But not that. At least until some other show uses Livin' On A Prayer for its season finale. Oh god. I'll just kill myself if it becomes cool to like that song.

-moon

grievance: people "hating" country music

While watching a self-created Scrubs marathon, drinking very spicy Virgin Mar... Marys ? Maries ? Whatever... horseradish is the shit... I decided it was necessary to address this general problem with people's self-proclaimed music tastes.

Why, in response to the question "what kind of music do you like?", do most people respond "everything but country"? Well, I'm assuming an inverse reaction from southerners, but as far as people with whom I come into contact, country has a bad reputation and my purpose here is to debunk the myth that country music equals bad music.

Okay. As I understand it, there are three types of people, with two of the three very-closely related in an important way. The first (and silly) group is people who are passive music listeners. These people are the most inclined to ONLY listen to rap, and go to clubs to dance around. I have no problem with people connecting with music with their bodies (like PROFESSIONAL DANCE) but bumping up against people you find mildly attractive in the dark while Lil' Jon screams "yeah" is not connecting with music. It's connecting with sluttiness and... well, grossness.

The second and third groups are made from people who actively listen to music. Within this group there are people who hook onto lyrics as their connection to the music (which one would think the group I fall into as I'm obsessed with words, but is not the case) and the smaller group who either barely pay attention to lyrics, or see lyrics as secondary to the music and are interested in the melodic and rhythmic composition of songs. To me, it's only natural for this second category to be my home, as I grew up listening to and playing classical music, which either has words in German or Italian or none at all, but I can understand how "normal" people would connect more with the lyrics. And that is why a lot of people claim that some of the music I listen to is "bad." And I'm OK with that... because it's really not. Hanson rules.

Now with that said, I return to my proposal of country music NOT sucking and being angry that people drag it through the mud. Well, the people in the first group can just go to hell, because their taste in music has no real meaning to it. So go ahead. Keep "hating" country because you can't pick up chicks or dudes with it playing in the background.

But for the people in the two groups... I can't get behind this irrational hatred for ALL country music. Yes. I will admit there is some silly, silly, silly stuff out there about beating up your wife, driving your pick-up truck and hating the gays. But how about the normal people who sing and write and play country music? ...Whose lyrics are about love, and the innocence of childhood, and its loss' pain, and love, and understanding death, and... well... love??? Isn't that what all good pop, rock, and (ughhh) R&B music is about ? (Again, I can't acknowledge most rap as legitimate music.) So if you're looking for great, eloquent, beautiful, heartfelt lyrics... they're there. And if you're looking for beautiful melodies and great voices (that incidentally are NOT auto-tuned like most pop and rock music is, because they can actually sing) with beautiful instrumentation with whole ORCHESTRAS sometimes, you've got that too.

So what gives ? Give me a legitimate reason why you people don't like pleasant sounding music or STOP saying "everything but country" with a wry laugh as you agree with each other and respond "OMG me too!" It's old.

Go listen to Deanna Carter's "Strawberry Wine" and tell me that's not a perfectly constructed song.

-moon