As I sit here fanning the flames of someone else's rage, I'm finding myself getting increasingly worked up over an issue that hasn't presented itself to me in quite some time. This particular issue, however, is so infuriating that even if it's been 12 years since you've encountered it, it is likely to cause a surge of anger so great that you render yourself immobile.
I'm talking of course about doctors' office "appointments." Right now (and probably for the next 17 days), my friend Riana is sitting in the doctors' office waiting for an appointment that was scheduled for approximately last Tuesday. Why is it that the concept of appointments is just a far-fetched ideal for doctors? And has anyone ever been taken in at the time they were scheduled for? I've even gone so far as to make the first brutal 7am appointment of the day and somehow they're still backed up. How?? I'm the only one in the office!
I'm so pissed. Post your thoughts and prayers for Riana in the comments section.
-stars
3.11.2008
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I don't know Riana, but I'm certain that she's absolutely deserving of random kindness, so Riana, you are in my prayers. Speedy recovery!
ReplyDeleteNow, Stars, wanna hear a REALLY fucked-up story? My father had a car accident many years ago and his back kept getting increasingly worse. So, finally, when all treatments, steroids, epidurals, therapy, . . .etc. failed, we brought dad to see THE best back surgeon in South Florida (the guy who fixes the Miami Dolphins' backs and who runs the Nick Buoniconti Paralysis Center). He's probably amongst the best in the world.
Ok, so you've gotta know my dad to truly appreciate this, but he's the anal retentive sort, who always shows up early. He had an appointment at 3:00, so we got there at 2, just in case there was paperwork to fill out. We filled out paperwork and were shown into an examination room at approximately 3:30 (so far - - not that bad). A practical nurse came in, for about 14 minutes, to do some basic neuro tests at around 4:00. And then, . . .we sat. . . waiting for Dr. G-d-Complex. Any guess what time he strolled in?? Anyone?
7:15!!! He walked in, having already reviewed the MRI's and spent exactly 8 minutes explaining to my father that he needed surgery. He didn't do any physical exam or even bother looking at my dad. He gave a quick description of the complex surgery and then spent the rest of the time with the Medical Malpractice "cover-your-ass" speech about all of the possible things that could go wrong and all of the possible detrimental side-effects of the surgery.
Here's the thing: I told my parents that I was ready, on principle, to walk out and tell the guy to go and perform an act of anal copulation upon himself. However, the truth is, when you're going under the knife (as dad did --successfully-- a few weeks later), you want the best guy in the world, holding that knife. It bothered me that he had a lousy bedside manner, but he performed an extraordinarily complex surgery on my father and (supposedly) did it flawlessly.
So, Stars AND Riana, . . .doctors are rude as fuck. They are self-indulgent ego-maniacs. They are paid ridiculous amounts of money (and yet, somehow still manage to be the cheapest motherfuckers at the table when the dinner check comes!) They don't care about wasting your time, as theirs is the most precious time in the world. They will likely ignore --or not even notice-- that you've been inconvenienced by unnecessary waiting time. But, when it's said and done, these sons o' bitches can hold a human heart in their hand and make it beat properly. They can precisely remove malignant tissue. They can give you perfect tits, restore sight, treat bacterial infections, set broken bones and perform spinal fusion surgery.
The price that we pay for their prowess is putting up with that prima donna waiting room bullshit.
So, . . . doctors, fuck you for making us wait and THANK YOU for saving our lives . . . every day!
As I said: speedy recovery Riana!