click here for moon's grievances (64 posts)
last post - "grievance: coffee cups in the media"
click here for stars' rageouts (35 posts)
last post - "raging out at... looking unassuming"

11.29.2007

raging out at... people who may or may not be dead

It can't be explained as to why, but nothing (and by nothing, I mean most things) enrages me more than not knowing if someone is dead or not. I hate that I have to sit there, wasted at a bar, and google things such as "Betty White dead." Nearly all of my drunken googles are for either song lyrics or finding out if someone is, in fact, dead.

And to be honest, I am mostly pissed at myself for this one. Someone will pass a remark about someone such as Abe Vigoda and then someone else will ALWAYS chime in with, "Aren't they dead?" I immediately become devastated and start in on the "Dead Inquisition." As my slow Sidekick loads up "Abe Vigoda dead," I attack the party who felt Abe was dead. "When did he die? Are you sure? What happened? How come I think I saw him in that new Macy's commercial? Oh, that was Usher. Whatever. I don't think he's dead. You're wrong. You're dead. Why would you say a thing like that about Abe Vigoda if you weren't sure??"

Now if the allegedly dead celebrity meant that much to me that I would attack a friend, shouldn't I have been up on whether or not they were dead in the first place? And why in the hell does everyone think everyone is dead anyway? 9 times out of 10, the person in question isn't dead.

Don't tell me someone's dead and crush my spirit unless you are sure.

-stars

6 comments:

  1. By the way . . . screw you for commiting the very sin you attribute to others! You raise the question of whether Abe Vigoda is dead or alive, mention that you searched it on your sidekick, BUT never give us the definitive answer!!
    By the way, at age 86, Abe is still alive and kicking. If the Writer's Guild strike ever ends, you'll be able to see him --nearly weekly-- on Late Night with Conan O'Brien

    ReplyDelete
  2. good point. a game i like to play is going through the guest stars of the muppet show and deciding if they're dead or not.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well, if I am forced to google it at the speed of Sidekick, I see no reason to make anyone else's life any easier. =)

    Is there even a Muppet guest star who's still alive?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Are any of the MUPPETS still alive??!!!

    R.I.P. Jim Henson (September 24, 1936 – May 16, 1990)

    -Kermit the Frog
    -The Swedish Chef
    -Rowlf the Dog
    -Dr. Teeth
    -Waldorf (the old guy in the balcony)
    -The Muppet Newsman
    -Link Hogthrob (from "Pigs in Space")
    -Mahna Mahna (do do, de doo doo)

    Henson also did Ernie (of Bert and . . fame) and Guy Smiley

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Musical Lawyer (again)November 30, 2007 at 4:10 PM

    P.S. there are plenty of Muppet Show guest hosts that are still alive (though many whose careers have died!)
    BUT, can anyone name the only parent and child who appeared, separately, as host, on different episodes, during different seasons??

    [Jeopardy! theme music plays]

    ReplyDelete