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1.04.2008

raging out at... "i'm dealing with a lot"

I believe firmly in the golden rule: If you "do unto others...," sure, you'll make mistakes but overall you'll be doing better than most. And we are all selfish. We do things for selfish reasons. What I have no respect for is people who make excuses. Like that whole "it isn't you; it's me," or the current idiocy I just got on text, "I'm going through a lot. It isn't intentional."

If you can find me someone who isn't going through "a lot," you've probably found the equivalent of the fountain of youth. This kind of phrase isn't an excuse; it is a cop out. I'm going through "a lot." You're going through "a lot." That guy you passed on the street is going through "a lot." And guess what? We all don't act like a-holes.

I guess what I'm really raging out at is people's lack of self-awareness. I'm insane. I'm aware. I'm overly emotional and dramatic and I know it. I know it every second of every day. Now this isn't an excuse for my idiocy but it somehow makes it less horrifying when someone is aware. If you are a religious sort (and I'm not, really), then you believe in the right of free choice. So it isn't acceptable to choose to do the wrong thing, but it is almost sad when you're that ignorant in a sociological sense that you aren't even aware of who (and why) you are.

And yes, you're reading the post of the scorned and the hurt. But I'm not so insecure that I can't admit that. And I'm happy to be hurt. It means I still feel and maybe I'm capable of feeling for someone who isn't a frog. But I keep kissing frogs.

But that's okay. I'm okay with that. And I think I've learned my lesson that people who make points of themselves with a snap and a wink, and are caricatures of themselves, are those who will never deliver anyone anything more than temporary happiness. I'm never going to make an excuse for feeling too much or too little. I hope I always feel too much.

All that being said.. Tonight I have a renewed faith in those who have proven themselves time and again, and a belief that I will never again fall for the wink.

Take a gander into the comments and say petty things about your least favorite wink-er. Or even rage out at people whose favorite bands are those we've told them they should love. Or rage at me for being petty.

-stars

4 comments:

  1. It's not you; it's me, . . .the Musical LawyerJanuary 5, 2008 at 4:14 PM

    Oh Stars, FUCK OFF. Wait, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's just that I'm going through a lot right now.

    :D

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  3. duh..stars...my neighbour's dog also gave me a look, that I could really not deipher, until, I read your post...I guess he was going through a lot..

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  4. Hahahaha! I love you, Dido. You've got to forgive when they're going through a lot.

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