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2.19.2008

rageful grievance: purse casualties

Stars' Original Post:

Dear Cigarettes,


Stop FUCKING spilling out in my bag and ruining good smokeables.  I'm tired of reaching into my bag for chapstick and coming out with a handful of tobacco.


Your old friend,


Stars


Moon Addendum:

I agree wholeheartedly.  Especially when it gets in the cracks of lip gloss containers.  Smearing glittering and tobacco-filled ointment to your lips is key.  And I have evidence of a friend's purse dismay in the form of a picture:


-moon/stars

11 comments:

  1. I can't explain how deeply traumatized I am by that picture.

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  2. The Incredibly Generous and Superbly Musical LawyerFebruary 19, 2008 at 11:33 PM

    . . . and while somewhat pretentious, THIS is precisely why they make those little cigarette cases. You can get the soft cases into which you can insert an entire pack of cigarettes OR the hard case, which you have to load up with your "smokeables", one by one.
    Moon, if you like, I will buy you one. Stars, I'm still holding a grudge from last week; get your own! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. motherfucka, 100s don't fit in there!

    neither stars, nor i, nor the poor girl being attacked by tobacco in the picture smoke anything BUT parliament light 100s.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh ye of little faith, Moon!
    I would like to offer into Evidence, "Exhibit A":
    Cigarette Cases for 100's

    Now taking orders . . .

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh ye of little faith, Moon!
    I would like to offer into Evidence, "Exhibit A":

    Cigarette Cases for 100s!

    I'm now taking orders. . .

    ReplyDelete
  6. Way to deny our occasional camel pink excursions...I mean, what?? Exuse me?? Only parliament light 100s please!

    ReplyDelete
  7. You shouldn't fucking smoke, dumb bitches.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow. I never knew smoking was bad for you. Thanks for shedding the light, anonymous! The world just came into a never before seen clarity.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Musical Surgeon GeneralMarch 4, 2008 at 12:09 AM

    My pack is not unhealthy. My pack specifically says that smoking cigarettes will cause "low birth weight." I am not pregnant. Ergo, no harm to me (or my non-existent Fetus!)
    But, for the record, . . . I did have a very bad pack last week. That fucker caused LUNG CANCER! (I, obviously, traded it for a "low birth weight" pack and all was right in the world!)

    ReplyDelete
  10. The Musical Surgeon GeneralMarch 4, 2008 at 12:09 AM

    My pack is not unhealthy. My pack specifically says that smoking cigarettes will cause "low birth weight." I am not pregnant. Ergo, no harm to me (or my non-existent Fetus!)
    But, for the record, . . . I did have a very bad pack last week. That fucker caused LUNG CANCER! (I, obviously, traded it for a "low birth weight" pack and all was right in the world!)

    ReplyDelete
  11. LOL! I bought a Canadian pack of Players Lights which warned me that it caused impotency. I think I'm in the clear.

    ReplyDelete